


Ready Or Not

by SonglordsBug



Series: two boys and a droid [2]
Category: Star Wars Sequel Trilogy
Genre: Gen, Mental Invasion, Torture, and take care of yourself if needed, it's Poe's perspective of the torture and mind scan scene, take from that what you will
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-24
Updated: 2020-03-24
Packaged: 2021-03-01 05:15:26
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 731
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23289868
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SonglordsBug/pseuds/SonglordsBug
Summary: Poe's perspective during the first part of TFA.
Relationships: Poe Dameron & Ben Solo | Kylo Ren
Series: two boys and a droid [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/1674883
Kudos: 8





	Ready Or Not

**Author's Note:**

> crossposting from stumblr

Poe Dameron thinks he’s ready to face Kylo Ren.

Has known since before Leia told him the truth about Ben that they would encounter each other again.

Then his blaster bolt is frozen and he’s dragged in front of that black mask that leaves no hints of the face behind it and finds himself babbling. As the mask turns away he finds himself not so sure anymore.

They take him up to the ship and torture him. It’s nothing- the resistance trained him, and he has Master Luke’s training, and it certainly doesn’t hurt as much as the day the Force screamed with the massacre of all the Force sensitives in training. But then Kylo Ren comes in and sends the others away and he’s going to delve into Poe’s mind and rip the answers out.

Poe stares at the expressionless mask covering his best friend’s face and wants to laugh at the irony.

The fact is that Poe Dameron has some of the best mental shields in the galaxy because a curly-haired boy had looked at him with big, desperate eyes and begged him to learn.

What did you see, Ben? Poe finds himself wondering. Did you see this? A faceless monster about to take what he can? Did you know then that it would be you?

And then the assault starts and there isn’t time to wonder. Poe throws up blocks and blinds, misdirects and twists memories into others, anything to keep the other out. Against anyone else it would be enough, his mind a maze no one can pass. But once upon a time Kylo Ren was a boy with big eyes and messy curls who was at home in Poe’s mind as if it were his own and could slip through the maze as easy as breathing.

It’s never hurt before. It’s never burned and ached and torn until Poe’s mind is raw. And it’s all done dispassionately, no emotion from the other boy but determination.

Not until Poe slips, loses his control, is unable to stop Kylo Ren from grabbing tight to the memory of sending BB-8 away with the information. Then there comes a sudden burst of surprise-shock-affection-pride from Kylo Ren. It’s damped quickly, and the Darkside warrior pulls away, shouting commands, but it leaves Poe panting in shock and pain.

He doesn’t have time to think about it during the escape. Not while they’re outflying and outshooting First Order attackers. Not while they’re free-falling to the planet and he’s getting that amazing, wonderful, brave Stormtrooper-Finn, his name was Finn, killed.

He wakes alone as dusk comes to the desert planet, no sign of a ship or a Finn, and he still doesn’t have time. He makes his way to what passes for civilization, gets what news he can of the First Order, and then finds a ride back to the resistance base.

Once he’s on his way, he finally has a chance to breathe, to try and piece together the broken pieces of his clawed apart mind.

He doesn’t know what to think anymore.

Ben would never hurt him, would never even consider it an option. And yet, Kylo Ren ripped him apart, scratched and scraped and scorched his mind, and left him in pieces. There must be nothing of Ben left, there must only be Kylo Ren using the face of his fallen friend Poe tells himself.

He tries not to think about how only Ben could get into his mind, only Ben would feel the same affection tinged pride about BB-8 as Poe, only Ben only Ben only Ben… He fails.

When he gets back to the Resistance, after he makes his report, Leia pulls him to one side. She looks at him, a question, a hope in her eyes.

“You saw him.”

“I don’t know anymore.” He tells her. “I just… He wasn’t… I don’t know.”

He sees resolve settle in her chin, sees the hope that doesn’t go out in her eyes, and turns away. She lets him go.

He collapses onto his bunk, curling into himself. The room feels empty and bare. He wishes for an earlier life, before loss had taken so many of his people from him. Mostly he wishes for a little, round, bot, whose snark and attitude and color scheme were his last link to the best friend who’s never seemed more out of reach.


End file.
